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Divorce Letters

> > >
> >> Dear wife:
> >> I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.
> >> I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for
> >> it. These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me
> >> that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
> >>
> >> Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut,
> >> had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
> >> boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
> >> your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex
> >> or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating
> >> on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
> >>
> >> Your EX-Husband
> >> P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West
> >> Virginia together! Have a great day.
****************************************************************
> >>
> >> Dear Ex-Husband
> >>
> >> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you
> >> and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry
> >> from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out
> >> your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.
> >>
> >> I did notice your hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to
> >> mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to
> >> say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. When
> >> you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my
> >> sister because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
> >>
> >> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
> >> price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my
> >> sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I
> >> still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for
> >> $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I
> >> got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope
> >> you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the
> >> letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
> >>
> >> So take care.
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >> Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & …Free!
> >>
> >> P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
> >> born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
> >>
> >>
> >>

mars 12, 2009 - Posted by | alternativ, inspiration | ,

2 kommentarer »

  1. Hahaha
    Så himla bra 😀
    Kram

    Kommentar av Jules | mars 12, 2009 | Svara

  2. Ja, det var verkligen roligt, så himla bra, Fick mej ett gott skratt mitt i den eländiga flunsan som slagit klorna i mej
    Ha en bra dag

    Kommentar av Anki | mars 12, 2009 | Svara


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